I am literally dying of sex withdrawal

Okay, so I’m exaggerating, but only a little. I’m not kidding here, people- I fuckin’ NEED SEX. It is the only thing I’ve been able to think about for days. I’m so revved up that I can’t concentrate on anything else. It has been exactly six days since my last fuckin’, and I don’t know how much longer I can go without before I will die.

I haven’t heard from The Submission Wrestler this week. Since I initiated contact and asked him on our date last week, I’m letting him make that contact this week. He is very difficult to read and I’d like some sort of indication of his interest, because I’m pretty tired of chasing after people and I’m much too hot and brilliant for that shit anyway. I’m optimistic, but impatient. There’s still quite a bit of ground to cover before sexin’ enters this picture, and I am in mortal danger as it is.

On the subject of chasing,

The other bitches

The Ex is still not really talking to me. I saw him this weekend, when we exchanged some things (he gave me some paperwork and I gave him my key to the loft). He’s going through some shit right now, and I don’t take it personally.

Dr. Jones is also not talking to me. Fuck that guy.

OLB hasn’t popped back up since I ignored his last “goodmorning beautiful xoxo”. Good riddance to him and his freakish full-body stubble.

Mr. Grownup Date is working as much as I am, and we’ve had a hard time coordinating with one another. Now I’m dreading telling him that I don’t want to see him after all.

There’s also some other dude from matchdotcom that’s been emailing me lately, but he seems like kind of a douche. Still not looking forward to telling him to fuck off. He asked if I wanted to get together for a drink, and I haven’t responded.

Ex’s effeminate friend and I were supposed to get together for drinks last week, but I was sick and neither of us emailed or called the other to cancel. He ignores me on forums like Twitter, Facebook, and his blog, but emails intimately- I’m annoyed at this game.

Unusually Tall Indian Guy made a mix CD for me and hinted that he’d like to go out on a date with me, but didn’t actually ask. He also said that I seem tense lately, which caused me to worry for a bit about whether or not I actually am tense, until I recognized the irony of the situation.

Saw Satanist Waiter out with LBHF. It was less awkward than I thought it might be, though it was still a little awkward. He smirked at us.

AFF Waiter texted a couple of weeks ago to solicit me for a FMF threesome. I didn’t respond and haven’t heard back from him.

Abrasive Dude With Whom I Once Worked has been Facebook-messaging me in the middle of the night in attempts to get me to go drink with him. He’s pretty attractive and I’d probably be interested if my attentions weren’t otherwise occupied. A little sad about this one, but I’d feel guilty if I pursued it, I think.

No one else comes to mind- I think this is the full rundown.

We don’t love them hoes

Been a hell of a couple of weeks. I’ve simply been too busy to be overly concerned with most of the crap that drives me to post here. In explanation, I will refer you to yet another of Catullus’s poems- this time, 51:

Otium, Catulle, tibi molestum est:
otio exsultas nimiumque gestis:
otium et reges prius et beatas
perdidit urbes.

Here’s my liberal translation:
Sitting on your ass, Catullus, is what ends up causing your problems;
having nothing to do is what leads you to wallow in carefree hedonism and subsequently totally emo out-
leisure has totally fucked even kings, and ruined great cities.

The gist of it is that angst is a byproduct of not having anything more pressing to do.

Here’s a summary on your usual suspects:
Beercan – is seeing someone! He has a giIiIiIiiirlfriEeEeEEeeeEEnd! He seems really happy, and I am happy for him. We’re on good terms and no longer fucking.

OLB – Well, I thought he’d actually finally given up until I heard from him today:
(02/21 3:11PM) Wanna play tnite?

AFF Waiter – Also popping up from time to time. I am considering giving him another chance, but I’m just not sure. He was really sweaty, which is just gross. Also, the thing with the blinds… eh, who knows.

Dr. Jones – off again, in a big way. Possibly very realistically For Real This Time. Why is that, you ask? Well, I think he’s not entirely comfortable with the way I feel about him, as expressed by way of this blog. “But how, Anterior Motive, could he possibly know that,” you ask? Well, dear reader, because I told him about it. I linked him. “Why on earth, Anterior Motive, would you do such a thing?” Because he asked. Fuck it. Balls to the wall.

Anterior Motive – again, busy as hell. Been “talking to” a few people, but nothing particularly exciting has arisen just yet. This might be because I’m feeling emotionally distant in general, but emotions have caused me nothing but trouble anyway, and I’m not unhappy about being my normal detached self again.

Points-rated post coming soon! Stay tuned!

AFF Waiter pops up like a whack-a-mole

Shortly after my telling C that I was pretty sure he’d given up after our abysmal encounter last week, AFF Waiter texted me tentatively, twice. I’m trying to think of another T-word to further draw out the alliteration, but it’s late and I’m tired.

Anyway, I didn’t respond. I’ve simply got no use for him.

Saturday night with AFF waiter

Pretty disappointing. He came over about 2.5 hours later than I expected. I put in a “nerd movie”, but not much of it was watched. We had dirty rough sex for about 2 hours. I achieved 0 orgasms. He had a difficult time maintaining an erection. He blamed it on the bourbon-and-zero that I’d made for him, but I think that’s pretty much bullshit, as a shot and a half of whiskey is really not enough booze to legitimize the whiskey-dick copout. This would not be the first time I’d encountered a 27-year-old navy man with erectile dysfunction.

I’ve been pretty universally disappointed with my AFF experiences and am considering just taking a break from the less fairer of the sexes until I’m ready to start having conversations with people before I fuck them. I hope I get past my latent Ex-and-Dr.J issues (not a combined set of issues; but the two of them together I think have put me on a doubleplus rebound) pretty soon, because I have been masturbating like nobody’s business lately. One might even call it chronic. Who needs cable?

Still annoyed

He just called. Apparently it was a tough night at work. He is dropping off someone with whom he carpooled and will then come over to my place. I suppose the pretense is that we will watch a movie or something. He’d better make an effort to un-irritate me, though, or no fun will be had this evening at all.

Harrumph.

AFF Waiter is late

…and I am getting annoyed. He was supposed to call when his shift was over at 10. I know that it’s likely that he’s just been held up at work, but he was also late for our first date. I at least call when I’m running late (which, granted, is nearly all of the time). I’m giving him until 11 and then I’m going out to meet Young EMT.

No sense in wasting this painstaking cuteness on another evening home alone.

Yum

Brief update: AFF waiter has a motorcycle, which I find incredibly hot. Maybe I will get some use out of the motorcycle jacket I bought when I was seeing Dr. J after all.

We’re getting together tonight. Not sure what’s on the agenda just yet.

Some other things that I just remembered that I like about AFF waiter

• His realname is really cute. Just ask J.
• We discussed which types of dried squid are our favorites. (He likes Japanese shredded squid, whereas I prefer Korean whole squid.)
• We geeked out over a particular kind of excellent muscat-flavored (muscadine) Japanese gummy.
• He enjoys drunk-and-screaming karaoke.

It’s very possible that I just like him right now because I am tired of OLB, BC, and even Dr. J at the mo’. I’m very fickle and I know it. We exchanged texts yesterday, but I haven’t heard back from him since, so we’re currently in radio silence. More to come, or not.

The Good, the Bad, Nothin’ Ugly Here

A less laconic update on AFF Waiter. We met at a bar near where I live last night for drinks. I ate beforehand (leftover kofta curry and biryani, and oh boy am I in dire need of fiber today), he ate there. His cited height of 5’9.5″ was more or less accurate. Dark, messy hair, dark eyes, very broad shoulders, nicely muscled arms. “Stocky” is a word I might use to describe him. He is charming without being glib, and pleasantly quirky. (e.g. “I dig your Chuck Norrises” in reference to my Chuck Taylor shoes.)

We chatted for about four hours and it didn’t get boring or awkwardly silent. He is half-Japanese (does this bring to mind the general Asian stereotype of endowment for anyone else?) in ethnicity and speaks Japanese fluently. Moving on to a bulleted list, since I’m not feeling particularly eloquent just now.

• Runner
• Smoker
• College student; recently got out of the Navy
• Lives with parents while finishing school
• Works as a waiter at a restaurant close to where I live. Described at length the body language necessary to succeeding in the people-service industries, which I found really interesting.
• Dimple in right cheek only; no cleft chin
• Drives a new-ish Nissan of some sort
• Kissed goodbye; cheek twice, mouth once, no tongue
• “Not interested in a serious relationship,” but “likes to take things organically”
• Thinks I am brilliant, gorgeous, and hilarious (probably because I am)
• Dog person
• Has a self-proclaimed “nerd fetish”. Nearly every man has at least one fetish.
• Very gracious about stumbling upon the Red Bull penispic while scrolling through corset vanity photos on my phone.

Overall impression: could be workable.

He’s coming over on Saturday evening, and made me promise to watch a “nerd movie” with him before taking advantage of him. I have a gigantic zit in my ass-crack right now, so any action might be out of the question this weekend anyway.