Back in the Game: Kickoff

Here’s what I’ve done over the last week:

Last Friday. Went out after work with KC and E. We headed to the usual spot and spent a few hours there, planning to have a low-key evening and go to our respective homes relatively early and relatively sober. This did not happen. I launched into a tirade about exactly which coworkers of mine are cuntiest and in exactly what ways I felt that they should suffer. This sort of discussion seems to make the people around me want to drink more,

I love you, C.

Sigh.

(4:45:39 PM) C: you ok?
(4:45:52 PM) AM: i think dr jones is going to this work party for which i’m about to leave
(4:46:02 PM) C: behave.
(4:46:04 PM) C: :)
(4:46:06 PM) AM: why?
(4:46:13 PM) C: okay. dont behave.
(4:46:16 PM) AM: haha

The Goth Show

Chat with K, June 24th

AM: best line from last night: “i’m not trying to hit on you, because i have a gorgeous young boyfriend who has a gigantic penis,

The One About Three Naked Chicks (wet-n-wild weekend fun)

Finally, something positive to relate! Last week, K got a hankering to engage in some line-free tanning. Both K and C have accompanied me to Hedonism 2 on separate occasions, so C was a shoo-in for this activity. K and C painstakingly researched clothing-optional places in the general region so that we could

Fuck. (Chapter One)

Last night: C and I went to see Hall & Oates. We decided that, even though we were doing a 5K this morning, we’d be fine if we just split a bottle of wine and drank plenty of water. We also planned to eat something while we were there. We started into the bottle and were soon having a phenomenal time. Soon we realized that there was no food to be purchased, but we were having so much fun that we decided that a second bottle was in order.

Fuck. (Chapter Two)

Continued from Chapter One.

LBHF’s Roommate: Oh yeah, you were hilarious.
LBHF: You were pretty funny with those texts, too.
AM: Texts?

This is really not good. It seems that I have lost some part of the previous night, as my brain has failed to record the entire thing.

Salt in the Wound

I’m having a really bad week for episodes of psychotic jealousy.

My brother’s coming in town today to run a 5K with me at a festival for a local microbrewery tomorrow. I noticed on my Facebook feed that he is planning to attend a party this evening hosted by

Tiki Time – details on last night with ADWWIOW

A little more detail on last night, now that I’m no longer boozed up and waxing existential. I hate a maudlin drunkenness, by the way; it is nobody’s friend.

So I’m on the way there, and running a couple of minutes behind. Normally at this point I would call my date to let him know and to apologize, but I’d just gotten to a constructiony part of downtown and did not want to try maneuvering while also making a phone call. I received a txt from him- “I’m 5 mins late”.

My Mood Just Improved by a Factor of Ten

I was in a ho-hum kinda mood for most of the morning, thinking idly about exactly what punishment I would mete out to those that have slighted me if I were a supervillain (interestingly, most people just wanted to talk about what outfit I’d wear when I brought up the supervillain thing), but when I was hunting down some photos to send to C of my Saturday night, I realized that Mr. Saturday Night is also the dude that’s into Ayn Rand and submission wrestling. Just the phrase “submission wrestling” gives me a little chill! I tell you bitches what; that beefcake can wrestle me into submission any time he likes! Now I’m much more excited about that date than I was before.

We’ll see if I am, in fact, too bitter to enjoy being out with dudes.

Thug bred to be a beefcake-laya

I’m feeling much closer to sane now that my PMDD is on the ebb. I’d been somewhat psychotic since Sundayish, which is never a fun thing to be. I’m not entirely sure why, either, since he’d been pissing me off for awhile and I knew that a breakup was the appropriate thing to do at that point, but it still brought me down.

LBHF and I have made up, though we’re not together- just a “no hard feelins” kinda thing. I warned him that he needs to give me a few days before renewing contact with me, as I’d currently just be likely to harass him for sex. I’ve been really switched-on this week for no good reason. My working theory is that it’s because I’m not getting any. I always want what I can’t have, and something becoming unavailable to me seems to invoke a kind of manic obsession with it. It’s not a great way to be, but I’m working through it. Obviously I’m not ready for a committed relationship right now, so that’s not even an option for me. I’m just looking to have a good time.