PANamaDEMONIUM: Vacation Highlights

Here are the first several entries contained in my trip journal (which was promptly abandoned on or around the second day of the trip. Oops.):

5/15, 12:57PM. Some blonde just gave me the look of death as I was exiting my office building. I think that this means my skirt is too short to be workplace-appropriate– or maybe I just slept with her boyfriend.

5/15, 4:37PM. At airport bar. Lots of dirty looks here, too. Must not be the boyfriend thing.

How I ended up on the wrong side of a two-day hangover

I am now fully recovered from Sunday night’s debacle, and ready to face the world anew! As I mentioned, I woke up Monday morning disoriented, and nude from the waist down. This is a general indicator of extreme drunkenness from the previous night; I pull down my pants to use the bathroom before bed and end up kicking them off somewhere, then collapsing into bed, otherwise fully clothed. It doesn’t happen infrequently. Pounding headache, waves of nausea pouring over me- I begin, as usual,

Fuck. (Chapter Two)

Continued from Chapter One.

LBHF’s Roommate: Oh yeah, you were hilarious.
LBHF: You were pretty funny with those texts, too.
AM: Texts?

This is really not good. It seems that I have lost some part of the previous night, as my brain has failed to record the entire thing.

S is a Bad Influence

I had quite a bit of fun before The Seminary Student showed up last night. I’m easily distracted in any condition, but when I drink I sometimes go into what K calls my “social butterfly mode”. When I’m like this, I do the least damage to my own reputation, as I flit around becoming best friends with positively everyone I encounter. I don’t stay in a single conversation long enough to get myself into trouble. This is good.

Before I get to that state, though, I tend to enter the territory of The Regrettable Drunktext. At S’s urging, I invited a colleague of ours to join us for a drink. He is a moderately attractive guy who’s a class-A asshat. He thinks very highly of himself. He is married to a stunningly beautiful woman that I met at our company’s Christmas party. He is one of the people that I tend to drunktext for kicks, though I’d been limiting that sort of activity as it relates to coworkers because it nearly always just leads to trouble later on.

It’s a phase; I’ll grow out of it.

I’m wondering whether my recent sluttiness was horomonal or something, because I just haven’t been feeling it for the last several days. It’s also possible that this is because I drank a hell of a lot this weekend and have a few regrets about some drunkdials/drunktexts I may have made. The phrase “hot fuckin’ mess” comes to mind. Sunday I ended up nude in the snow and screaming my head off. Fuckin’ bourbon. I think I need to take a few days off from drinking.

Brief updates on our current usual suspects:

• Dr. Jones. Haven’t heard from him since we texted briefly on Friday. Haven’t spent much time thinking about him. Fuck that guy. No, I mean it this time.
• AFF Waiter. Felt extremely fat yesterday after binging on biryani and kofta curry, so I rescheduled for tonight. He didn’t seem upset. Not sure what we’re doing.
• OLB. This one is kinda weird. I have a date with him and a buddy of his on Friday night. MFM is something I have always wanted to try, but never have. Not entirely sure how I feel about this just now. Don’t know much about the friend except that he’s 5’10″, Turkish, and circumcised. I guess I need to get some face pics, because I think that the only part of a man that interests OLB is below the waist. Told you he was a freak.