Sometimes the whole is less than the sum of its parts.

Mojitos with Mr. Grownup Date

Emailed him yesterday to reconnect. You may recall that we attempted on several occasions to schedule a date last year, but that things just kept not working out due to some scheduling conflict or another. When we did get around to meeting up, I was already seeing LBHF, so it was a non-date. I had a great time even though it was technically not a date, but fell out of touch with him

The iPhone Dude

In my previous post, I mentioned that there were three people with whom I’d made dates during my brief return to Match.com. Only one of them handled my initial backpedal gracefully enough to have ended up with a date with me, and that was

The Submission Wrestler

…is fantastic. I was skeptical about this evening and had already decided that, when the date didn’t work out, I was going to take some time off from dating to regroup. However, I was pleasantly surprised. I’ll give a brief rundown.

We were supposed to meet for coffee at a spot in Midtown (for some reason, I always mistakenly think it’s in Buckhead until I’m on my way there and am surprised by how much farther it is than I thought it would be) at about 9:45. Unfortunately, my haircolor appointment ran longer than I anticipated, so I texted him to let him know that I wouldn’t be able to make it until about 10:15.

The Seminary Student

Met on Match.com. He is a doctoral theology student who also teaches at a local seminary. We got along well via email and chat, so I was looking forward to meeting him.

He’s not really my normal physical type; although he was tall enough at 6’3″ (+10), he is definitely not deliciously muscled (-20). He also has facial hair (-15), which I have never liked. However, he speaks both Latin (+50) and ancient Greek (+50). Also, as a seminary student, he is a Biblical scholar(+20) – and the Bible and study thereof are among my own less conventional interests.

We met up at a bar in L5P to get to know each other better. Although it hadn’t come across in our phone conversations, he ended up having a really bad stutter that obviously distressed him (-20), which was moderately off-putting. He wore a suit (+10), with a royal purple shirt (-15). We had good talk; he and I share a dry and sarcastic sense of humor (+25), and he shocked the hell out of me when he broke out the dead baby jokes (+20). I think I taught him a few new ones. We even share several nerdly interests, including but not limited to a near-obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer (+30).

Sadly, he is a student living on a stipend, not otherwise employed (-20) and the poorness inherent in such a situation is a turn-off for me. Also, it came up late in conversation that he doesn’t think that animals have souls (-100) and expects that dogs have no place in a Christian Heaven. That made me very sad.

Although we stayed out talking for a few hours longer than I’d intended, there was absolutely no spark (-∞), and even though he might end up wearing one of those hot priest collars (+100) within a year or so, I just don’t see it going anywhere.

New friend, yes- but no potential for hot sexin’ or romance.

Final score: (-∞) + (+105)

The Good, the Bad, Nothin’ Ugly Here

A less laconic update on AFF Waiter. We met at a bar near where I live last night for drinks. I ate beforehand (leftover kofta curry and biryani, and oh boy am I in dire need of fiber today), he ate there. His cited height of 5’9.5″ was more or less accurate. Dark, messy hair, dark eyes, very broad shoulders, nicely muscled arms. “Stocky” is a word I might use to describe him. He is charming without being glib, and pleasantly quirky. (e.g. “I dig your Chuck Norrises” in reference to my Chuck Taylor shoes.)

We chatted for about four hours and it didn’t get boring or awkwardly silent. He is half-Japanese (does this bring to mind the general Asian stereotype of endowment for anyone else?) in ethnicity and speaks Japanese fluently. Moving on to a bulleted list, since I’m not feeling particularly eloquent just now.

• Runner
• Smoker
• College student; recently got out of the Navy
• Lives with parents while finishing school
• Works as a waiter at a restaurant close to where I live. Described at length the body language necessary to succeeding in the people-service industries, which I found really interesting.
• Dimple in right cheek only; no cleft chin
• Drives a new-ish Nissan of some sort
• Kissed goodbye; cheek twice, mouth once, no tongue
• “Not interested in a serious relationship,” but “likes to take things organically”
• Thinks I am brilliant, gorgeous, and hilarious (probably because I am)
• Dog person
• Has a self-proclaimed “nerd fetish”. Nearly every man has at least one fetish.
• Very gracious about stumbling upon the Red Bull penispic while scrolling through corset vanity photos on my phone.

Overall impression: could be workable.

He’s coming over on Saturday evening, and made me promise to watch a “nerd movie” with him before taking advantage of him. I have a gigantic zit in my ass-crack right now, so any action might be out of the question this weekend anyway.

AFF Waiter – briefest of updates

I like him. Went well. We’re going out again Saturday. More later.

Recent addition: AFF waiter

Summary:

• AFF
• gorgeous
• waiter
• my age (usually i like em older)
• 5’9.5″, allegedly- possibly hot enough to make up for it
• geek-girl fetish
• runner
• next Monday evening

OLB: The actual first date

Ended up meeting at the sister bar of the bar where I spend most of my heavy-drinkin’ nights. I’d just arrived from a hair appointment (had to get cut and color on separate days, in case you wondered why I had two in a row). We drank several rounds and I rambled in my usual fashion about topics ranging from the Greek catamites to Abraham Lincoln being a white supremacist. He ate, I didn’t. His left hand was bandaged up, presumably due to his recent brown recluse incident. He complained a lot about not being able to go to the gym because of the bite

We got along okay, with moderate sparkage, so we decided to go to his house for “another drink”. Followed him to his house on the other side of town. He mixed orange-flavored vodka with sugar-free seltzer water (uh, yeah) and we made out in the kitchen for awhile. He showed me some photos of his past bodybuilding competitions, and he looked really weird and unnaturally bronzed in them.

We rolled around naked but didn’t have sex. He shaves his entire body, which contains no amount of fat whatsoever. For some reason, though, that didn’t make me feel self-conscious. It was fun, but nothing to cliché home about.

I left around 3am. I’ll probably see him again.

Stood up!

I waited for Opera-Loving Bodybuilder for 20 minutes before leaving. I called him at ten after to make sure I was at the correct Waffle House, and got no answer. I left a voicemail. He didn’t call to cancel or say that he’d be late. I don’t think this has ever happened to me before. Why would you ask someone on a date if you had no intention of showing up? I guess karma’s a real bitch.