And we’re back

LBHF broke up with me last night, 6 days after the anniversary of our first makeout. I am pretty fucking devastated, but then I have been in the throes of a major depression and also didn’t sleep well since I kept forgetting to breathe, so who the hell knows what’s really going on here.

More to come; stay tuned for a pity party of heretofore unseen magnitude.

Fuck it.

Finally got around to breaking up with LBHF this afternoon. It wasn’t exactly amicable, but I’m deep in the throes of PMDD and pretty supremely annoyed right now. He’d been pissing me off more and more in very tiny ways, but it just came to a head. Oh well. Next?

Oh, man

I have been in PMS hell for the past couple of weeks or so. I have a medical condition that makes me pretty irregular, so I can sometimes go months without getting my period- but then when it does show up, it’s a real doozy.

Briefly:

• Been completely ignoring all of the usual suspects except Dr. Jones, to whom I may or may not have declared my undying love in a fit of sobbing. I’ll never tell.
• Ex’s friend is seriously balls-to-the-wall hitting on me. I’m flattered but disinterested. Not sure how best to handle the situation.
• I have decided that I want Ex to die by accidentally being hit by a car being driven by his New Ho.  I am very cranky with both of them for being in love.
• I’ve pretty much quit drinking. I also started running again. It hasn’t made me any stabler, just less likely to commit embarrassing drunktexts.
• I have actively craved french fries for about a week and a half consecutively now. I’ve had them a couple of times.

Summary: I’m a huge mess. At this point, it’s impossible to take myself at all seriously.

I think I’m going to go get McDonald’s.

Saturday night with AFF waiter

Pretty disappointing. He came over about 2.5 hours later than I expected. I put in a “nerd movie”, but not much of it was watched. We had dirty rough sex for about 2 hours. I achieved 0 orgasms. He had a difficult time maintaining an erection. He blamed it on the bourbon-and-zero that I’d made for him, but I think that’s pretty much bullshit, as a shot and a half of whiskey is really not enough booze to legitimize the whiskey-dick copout. This would not be the first time I’d encountered a 27-year-old navy man with erectile dysfunction.

I’ve been pretty universally disappointed with my AFF experiences and am considering just taking a break from the less fairer of the sexes until I’m ready to start having conversations with people before I fuck them. I hope I get past my latent Ex-and-Dr.J issues (not a combined set of issues; but the two of them together I think have put me on a doubleplus rebound) pretty soon, because I have been masturbating like nobody’s business lately. One might even call it chronic. Who needs cable?

Disappointing

I think I’m just going to be celibate for awhile. Thanks for playing.

Dr. Jones is off the project

You may recall that Dr. Jones and I worked closely together, and that he’d told me some time ago that he was going to be reassigned to another effort. It didn’t actually happen until today, and I’m afraid it has done absolutely nothing to improve my positively foul mood.

Text from Dr. Jones (01/22/2009 10:33AM) Free at last!

While I immediately realized that this was probably what he was talking about, I guess I got my hopes up that he might actually be talking about something else. By something else, I mean his relationship. Of course, that isn’t what he meant.

I am deeply annoyed with him for being so happy about it (although I recognize that it will be very helpful to him in alleviating his unreasonably large workload) and also deeply annoyed with him for this being the first communication that I received from him since Friday of last week.

I am trying to think of a nasty and gruesome way in which I would like him to die right now. Will update when I come up with it.