I wish every day was S’s birthday

So yeah, it’s been awhile. Again. Oops. I don’t really have anything to say in defense of my silence, so I’m just going to try and fill y’all in on what has happened since last time. Working backwards,

LBHF Gets On My Nerves

(Note: Edited from previous posts for the purposes of cohesiveness)

Dinner with K
Thursday: LBHF and I go to K’s for dinner.

The Rock Show

So, there are a couple of guys at my office that also play in bands. One of the bands is surprisingly excellent, while the other makes up for what they lack in musical talent with sheer enthusiasm, and a hot (married- and to a wonderful girl that I absolutely love) bassist. I dragged LBHF with me last Thursday, because it is fun to do things with him, because it makes me happy to spend time with him, and because he is totally young and hot and I thought that his introduction to certain coworkers might serve to expedite their recovery from the pain of being in unrequited love with me.

Ho hum (emphasis on the “ho”)

Had a phenomenal run this afternoon. I’m working on deciding on my next 5K. I’m thinkin’ I might run one in a couple of weeks that commemorates Confederate Memorial Day. Oh yeah, bitches, that’s how we roll up in the dirty-dirty. I’m not some crazy redneck or anything, but cmon, you have to realize the ironic humor value that would come with the t-shirt. Anyway, the endorphin rush (I refer to these as “rungasms”) I got around 1.25mi was really fantastic.

S is a Bad Influence

I had quite a bit of fun before The Seminary Student showed up last night. I’m easily distracted in any condition, but when I drink I sometimes go into what K calls my “social butterfly mode”. When I’m like this, I do the least damage to my own reputation, as I flit around becoming best friends with positively everyone I encounter. I don’t stay in a single conversation long enough to get myself into trouble. This is good.

Before I get to that state, though, I tend to enter the territory of The Regrettable Drunktext. At S’s urging, I invited a colleague of ours to join us for a drink. He is a moderately attractive guy who’s a class-A asshat. He thinks very highly of himself. He is married to a stunningly beautiful woman that I met at our company’s Christmas party. He is one of the people that I tend to drunktext for kicks, though I’d been limiting that sort of activity as it relates to coworkers because it nearly always just leads to trouble later on.

The Bad News

On the way home from last night’s date, I caught up with S via phone, who was out drinking at our usual spot with M, KC, and The Canadian. They wheedled until I agreed to join them for a glass of wine (I’m off most liquors until the end of next week) and I stopped in. Everyone was already three sheets to the wind when I arrived, and I, having just had dinner with a man that does not drink alcohol, was completely sober. M and KC had been making out with each other, it seems- surprising since they are both girls and I’d recently had an argument with M when she referred to a bisexual mutual acquaintance as “confused”. M and I usually get along pretty well, but…

This was a good night.

I called The Submission Wrestler this afternoon to ask if he’d like to go to dinner with me sometime this week. My schedule is somewhat compacted, since it’s already Monday night and I’m planning to go to my hometown for the weekend on Friday night. Although I felt that Saturday had gone really well, I was struck by paroxysms of self-doubt after I left the message about dinner this week, especially when he didn’t call back right away.

I IMed a bit with LBHF late this afternoon, and that left me feeling even crappier. I told him that I missed him, and although it made me feel a bit better to learn that he apparently misses me as well and has been even more miserable than I have been, I was in a pretty crappy mood by about 5pm.

Beercan: Final Update

Thursday, J expressed some concern about a staff meeting she was asked to attend. Given the state of things these days and the number of people I know who have recently been laid off, I was anxious on her behalf. When I didn’t hear from her after the meeting, and when my phone call to her went directly to voicemail, I imagined that everyone I saw from her area of our office floor looked as though they had been crying. I messaged Beercan just as J was coming online to find out whether he’d heard from her; the first time I’d “talked” to him all day.

1:36 PM Anterior Motive: have you heard from j in the past couple of hours?
1:37 PM Anterior Motive: ah there she is nm

Friday, called in sick to work due to a raging fuckin’ hangover from a late Thursday out with S and another of our coworkers (J stopped by but managed to escape before getting into trouble with us). Had an early afternoon appointment with my colorist that lasted several hours. I didn’t speak to BC at all on Friday.

Yesterday, J told me that BC mentioned to her that he guessed that we were no longer dating, given my spotty communications of the previous couple of days. Easiest. Letdown. Ever.

I just remembered having had some weird dream involving him and his lack of lips last night, but I don’t remember what happened in it.

Here endeth the book of Beercan- probably.

This week in brief

Wednesday: dinner with a former coworker. I think he would like to try a relationship with me, but I am not interested in him and he is frankly too nice a guy to use as fodder for my ego. I have told him that I think dating would be a terrible idea. He does not disagree.

Thursday: drinks with my boss, S. She is phenomenal. She might understand my current bizarre emotional state better than anyone else I know. I feel constantly guilty that my insanity is causing me to be borderline-nonfunctional at work and am hoping that I get my shit together soon. I need to get back into the swing.

Friday: drinks, dinner, and dancing with an AFF dude (the one from the dream). He is totally gorgeous, if the photos are to be believed. Slightly strange is that a (female) friend of his may be visiting from out of town, and will join us if that is the case. I am slightly intimidated as he seems to be a different sort of dude than I have dated previously- kind of a suave yuppie. I think my self-confidence is suffering right now. The other woman in the scenario also makes me uneasy. I have thought about it and decided that it might not be entirely unreasonable, though. This dude has the same name as two people I previously dated.

Saturday: supposed to go to a coworker’s Christmas party. On the fence about it. She seems fun, but I don’t know her very well and don’t know if I would know anyone else there. Also, I don’t really like Christmas.

As-yet undetermined point in the weekend: drinks with a really cute EMT who is a year younger than I am and just got back from serving in Iraq. He’s not as tall as I generally like men to be, but he looks really good, and is easy to talk to. I think he has potential to be fun. He has the same name as The Ex.