So, my plan was to have both Handsome Stranger and My Evil Twin out all evening to balance one another out. Since they both seem to be interested in me, my attentions would be equally distributed, and there would be 0 chance that I would end up going home with either of them- right? WRONG.
{May 15, 2009}
Submitted for your approval
A parting gift for those chat-voyeurs among you:
(10:24:54 AM) AM: whatcha got going on today?
(10:25:44 AM) LBHF: [work stuff removed]. I’m also going to input the strapping tables for [more work stuff].
(10:26:13 AM) AM: strapping tables sound much naughtier than they probably are
(10:26:23 AM) LBHF: yup
(10:26:27 AM) LBHF: now granted
(10:26:53 AM) LBHF: they completely bind a tank every 16th of an inch with metal straps and tie it down tight
(10:27:14 AM) AM: okay yeah i still find that sexy
(10:27:27 AM) LBHF: ;)
{April 15, 2009}
Whores: What Are They Good For?
Brought The Seminary Student back to my place. Informed him ahead of time that pants were not coming off. This is not just a standard deflection, my friends- I intensely loathe his full beard and told him as much. Normally, facial hair alone is a non-negotiable for me, but cmon, he speaks Latin and ancient Greek. He read Catullus aloud to me while I liberally (and crassly) translated along. It was very hot, until he started smearing his yucky beard on my face.
He was pleasantly aggressive, but he told me that his personal rules involved no penile-vaginal penetration outside of the confines of a committed relationship. We both agreed that we did not see potential for such a relationship in each other, but apparently he feels that there is more to pursue. I’m ambivalent on the subject. Now it is the end of the night, and I am fully topless while pants remain intact.
Overall, the night remains fully disappointing. A high note is my brand-new English Internet Boyfriend (EIB), about whom I’m sure to post more later. Sadly, I think he’s currently either sleeping or snowballing birds, and is thus unavailable to respond to any lewdness I might fling in his direction. Sheer tragedy, my friends. This carpal tunnel is not healing itself.
{January 20, 2009}
It’s a phase; I’ll grow out of it.
I’m wondering whether my recent sluttiness was horomonal or something, because I just haven’t been feeling it for the last several days. It’s also possible that this is because I drank a hell of a lot this weekend and have a few regrets about some drunkdials/drunktexts I may have made. The phrase “hot fuckin’ mess” comes to mind. Sunday I ended up nude in the snow and screaming my head off. Fuckin’ bourbon. I think I need to take a few days off from drinking.
Brief updates on our current usual suspects:
- Dr. Jones. Haven’t heard from him since we texted briefly on Friday. Haven’t spent much time thinking about him. Fuck that guy. No, I mean it this time.
- AFF Waiter. Felt extremely fat yesterday after binging on biryani and kofta curry, so I rescheduled for tonight. He didn’t seem upset. Not sure what we’re doing.
- OLB. This one is kinda weird. I have a date with him and a buddy of his on Friday night. MFM is something I have always wanted to try, but never have. Not entirely sure how I feel about this just now. Don’t know much about the friend except that he’s 5’10″, Turkish, and circumcised. I guess I need to get some face pics, because I think that the only part of a man that interests OLB is below the waist. Told you he was a freak.
